Typically when I enter a new humiliated post, I’m still somewhat scarred by the whole event. I might need to wait a few days, or years, before I can recover enough to relive the whole ordeal. For some reason, I have enough confidence to laugh at myself right now, and not to be totally humiliated. Maybe it’s just because I didn’t do the humiliating thing this time. Still, this story needs to be told.
So, senior year, AP gov. The most controversial class I’ve taken at Watterson (besides French). It’s half opinionated arguers, half slackers who spend the time gchatting and playing bubble shooter. One of the quieter members of the class is a kid is… let’s call him….. “Steve”. Now, Steve was in my health class freshman year, but he was one of the cooler kids, so I never really talked to him. The most personal thing I know about him is that sophomore year a picture was snapped of him straddling my then-crush. Expect crush isn’t a strong enough word. I was in love with this kid. Well, I’m still kind of in love with him, actually. And Steve was straddling him. How was that fair? Like, really? Ok, sorry, tangent. This is about Steve.
Anyway, Steve sits a few seats ahead of me in this class. I talked to him once about something a few weeks ago. I forget what it was. All I remember is that I was proud of myself for having a successful interaction with someone of a different high school status than theatre nerd or band geek.
But that little interaction is easily overshadowed by what happened today. I had gone up to the front to speak with our teacher, a lovable dork of a man, to ask him to switch my grade online for the one billionth time. As I was walking back to my seat, I felt something graze, well, my seat. I’m used to such abuse in the theatre during rehearsal, but not during the school day when I was surrounded by jocks and cheer leaders! I whipped around, very confused, to see who it was. And, of course, it was “Steve”. He had accidentally full on grabbed my butt while I was walking past. How did he even manage… what? Anyways, he got this look of terror on his face as he realized that he just felt up this girl he barely knew. I, being me, turned bright red as well, but found the confidence to be able to laugh at the situation. He apologized many times, but saw me laughing and joined in. As I sat down I said, “Oh, we’re going there already?” He nervously chuckled, apologized once more, and turned around. The poor kid, humiliated.
I messaged Karin instantly, who sat diagonally behind me. I’m surprised she managed to hold it together in class; it looked as if she were going to burst at the seams she was trying so hard to hold in her laughter. She ended up crying of course. And she made me remember how much I love writing humiliated posts, owning up to my dorkiness, and making other people laugh. So hopefully, I’ll be back to writing on a somewhat regular bases. When I’m not juggling school, college, theatre, choir, auditions, social, and family stresses of course. I’m sorry I stopped writing for a while. My giving up on awkward thoughts is something truly #humiliating.