You’re scaring me. The way you talk, about your sadness, about your hardships, about your crippling hurt. It scares me.
I’ve heard some of this before, from you and for others. I’m no stranger to it. But never for this long.
I had something to do with it. You mean, I caused some of this pain? Oh please no. Seeing you like this, it makes me panic. You’re a part of me, a bigger part than you know. Seeing this, hearing this, reading this, makes me go crazy. Don’t let it be my fault. Please no.
I want to help. I need to help. Let me?
Texting doesn’t work, calling doesn’t work, will a facebook message? How do I reach out? How can I form that connection. Because I need that connection. I need you. And I think you need me to.
I’m not sure I can give the right advice. I don’t know if what I say will make everything ok again. But I won’t stop talking until it is ok again. I will be here, holding, stroking, comforting. I won’t let you fall any farther. I’ll try my best.
Are you reading this? Can you hear me?
It will get better. I swear. It will. I don’t know when, I don’t know why, but all of the sudden everything will fall into place. I’ll be here until it does, though. That is, if you want me.
I don’t know if you want me. But I want you.
You mean so much to me. There have been so many moments in my life when only you could have helped me. For a very long time now, you’ve been the person I call. You’re right there, I see you on my favorites list. You’ve been a pillar, a foundation, something for me to lean on when I’ve lost all the strength to carry myself.
I want to be the same for you.
Will you answer me?